School starts tomorrow. I am so nervous, my stomach is in knots. I can't help it. I remember every first day of school since I started my educational journey. I was always nervous. Kids are a tough crowd. I was never very popular and I was always worried I wouldn't make friends. What if the cool kids didn't like the shirt I was wearing or didn't like my hairstyle? I would be ostracized for the entire school year. I was the kid jumping for the bottom rung of the popularity ladder. Every yearbook I've ever had signed was filled with entries like "To the smart girl..." or "To the girl who let me copy..." or "Stay nice..." and there was even a "You're a great girl, one day you'll find a boyfriend.." No joke. I was never the pretty girl or the cool girl. And even though I'm 27 and I have a good job and one college degree under my belt already, I'm still feeling so insecure I want to hide. Thank God the semester is only 15 weeks. On the flip side, that means I have another first day right after that. Anyone have some spare Xanax? Want to share??
I'm already stressing out over the workload. The Microbiology professor already sent out her syllabus which includes words I can't pronouce, let alone spell. We'll have three tests and a cumulative final, which, I'm sure will lead to another nervous breakdown. Oh, and she's making us write a paper. This isn't English Composition. I'm just sayin'. The Organic Chemistry professor hasn't had any contact with the class yet and I don't know if I want to take that as a good sign or bad. I dread anything with the word Chemistry in it. I'm no good at it. I'll be spending tons of time recopying notes, making note cards and hanging out in the Science Center (fancy name for tutor lab).
Breathe. In and out. Just keep breathing. I will survive. I might be a little grayer and have a nervous twitch but I'll survive. I might also have a drinking problem in the end, but I'll survive. Just promise if they throw me in a room with padded walls, you'll visit? I'll share all the good drugs ;)
You'll be fine. I'd mail you some Xanax but I'm thinking that's illegal and if I'm going to federal prison it's gonna be for a whole lot more than mailing a couple of pills to my niece. You know family comes first and all BUT there are limits :) Good luck at school and if you don't fit in, there's always Moscato!
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Shelley